1 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,510 MAN: It's crazy times, guys, crazy times. 2 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,170 So one side is saying, 3 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:17,174 "Hey, people are killing each other with machine guns. 4 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:20,723 Maybe normal civilians shouldn't have machine guns, 5 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:24,606 and only soldiers who are in an active ground war." 6 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,395 And then the other side is saying, 7 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,902 "Well, you can't take away machine guns because of the Second Amendment. 8 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,443 The Second Amendment, you can't regulate guns 9 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,440 because of the Second Amendment." 10 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:37,444 So, to be clear, your argument is 11 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,322 that guns should have no regulations on them 12 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,365 because of the Second Amendment, 13 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,663 which literally starts with the words, 14 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:48,209 "A well regulated." 15 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,918 That's literally how it starts! 16 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,418 And the whole amendment has 27 words, 17 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,888 and three of them are "a," "well," 18 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,223 and "regulated." 19 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,764 That's 11.1%, folks. 20 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,433 - [LAUGHTER] - You know? 21 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:08,275 I know what this guy's thinking. This guy's like, "But, Samir, 22 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,314 11.1% isn't that much." 23 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,858 But imagine you're on a plane, 24 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,114 and halfway through your journey, the pilot comes on 25 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,493 and he's like, "Hey, folks. Classic good news, bad news. 26 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:23,081 Good news, we'll be getting you 89% of the way there. 27 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:27,290 Bad news, that puts us at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean." 28 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,832 [FAINT LAUGHTER] 29 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,883 All right. That's my time. Thank you. 30 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:45,308 - [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - [SOFT PIANO MUSIC] 31 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,234 Hey, Al. Uh, something cheap and brown. No ice. 32 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,865 MAN: Looking good, Tiff. Huh? 33 00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,971 - Special occasion, huh? Come on. - Perfect. Thank you. 34 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,702 TIFF: Leave me alone. 35 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,412 MAN: Let me try some new stuff on you. 36 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,033 Hey... why do they call me the gravedigger? 37 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,411 'Cause I like to bury my face in those tombs. 38 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,128 Okay. Okay. 39 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,669 Okay, here's some advice if you want some: 40 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,008 maybe you should try putting some jokes in there. 41 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,489 Yeah, well, I don't want to do jokes about cats versus dogs, 42 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,674 and New York versus L.A., 43 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,014 and airline food, and ethnic stereotypes, okay? 44 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,977 Didi? If you don't make people think, your comedy's never going to matter. 45 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,766 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. 46 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,810 People like my act, okay? 47 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,649 - I have 59,000 followers. - Mm-hmm. 48 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,690 So I should be more like Joe Donner 49 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,507 - and murder some people? - MAN: Come on, what? 50 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,272 Come on, you and me and a bottle of beer. 51 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,650 - No, thanks. - Come on, baby. 52 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,409 Come on, he didn't. 53 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,119 He didn't. 54 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:47,331 What? [LAUGHS] 55 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,836 - The legal system ruled it wasn't murder. - Yeah, they fucked that up. 56 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,381 But you know what? That is exactly your problem, Samir. 57 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,626 Funny is funny. And that dude... 58 00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,967 not you, but that dude... is funny. 59 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,633 - Okay? - No, that's... 60 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,011 Okay. Well, good talk. 61 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,147 Hey, could you put that all in an e-mail and, uh, send it to the ocean? 62 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,516 Yeah, sure. Hey, could you suck my vagina? 63 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,651 [LAUGHS] 64 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,271 MAN 2: What matters is not followers. 65 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,524 - What matters is adjusted... - Gross income. 66 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,909 Yeah, we all know that JC Wheel... 67 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,196 JC Wheeler. 68 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,324 Ah. In the fleshy flesh. 69 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,872 Oh, man, I... Hey, can... 70 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,913 Hey, I am such a fan of yours. 71 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,290 I mean, I know everyone's a fan of yours, but I'm the... 72 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,466 - Thank you. - How's your day? 73 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,047 What have you been doing? 74 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,180 Man. You were everywhere and then you just disappeared. 75 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,048 You had it all. What happened? 76 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,722 I had it all. 77 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,935 - Hey, I saw your set. - Oh, you did? 78 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,101 Oh, man... feel free to tell me to go fuck myself, 79 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,525 but if you have any notes for me or anything, I'll give you anything. 80 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:03,240 I'll give you my dog. Well, it's not my dog. It's my girlfriend's dog. 81 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,968 But we've been dating since high school, so it's basically my dog. 82 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,492 My dog, her dog. Dog's a dog. Your dog if you want it. 83 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,790 See, all this shit is funny. 84 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,167 Funnier than the Second Amendment, I'll tell you that. 85 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,753 Well, obviously, it's not the amendment that's funny. 86 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,414 - What I find funny is the fraudulent... - Next. 87 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,551 - What? - Next topic. 88 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,007 [LAUGHS] That's funny. 89 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,597 But seriously, if you have any notes for me, you know... 90 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,303 - You want notes? - Yeah. 91 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,676 Fuck politics. 92 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,437 The audience don't care about what you think. 93 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,523 - They care about you. - Right. 94 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,314 Yeah, I know everyone says "be personal", "truth in comedy", 95 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,029 but don't you think that's a bit of a cop-out? 96 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,365 The audience doesn't want to hear you make points. 97 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,109 You dating a high school girl? 98 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,027 - Now that's interesting. - Oh. 99 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:51,622 - I'm not dating a high school girl. We... - Now, that's comedy. 100 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,413 Well... Right, but isn't that gross and exhibitionistic? 101 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,037 Isn't the whole point to provide insight into the human condition? 102 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,256 Provide insight, huh. 103 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:05,302 What do you want? Are you happy with your life? 104 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,798 With your career? Don't you want it all? 105 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,932 Yes. More than anything. 106 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,643 You have one thing. 107 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,184 One natural resource. 108 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,484 You are a country with one export. 109 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,028 And you are the export. 110 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,071 I'll tell you a secret. 111 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:32,664 Put yourself out there and you will get laughs. 112 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,496 You will be successful. 113 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:38,836 Are you sure... that's what you want? 114 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,542 Yes. 115 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,462 Now you have to be sure to be sure. 116 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,334 'Cause once you put it out there... 117 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,676 the audience will take it in. They will connect. 118 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:53,222 And once they connect to it... it's theirs. 119 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,061 And once it's theirs... 120 00:05:57,148 --> 00:06:00,061 ...that shit is gone forever. 121 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:05,234 Listen, my life is okay. It's fine. 122 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,948 But you don't choose comedy because you want a fine life, 123 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,740 you choose comedy because you want it all. 124 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,447 Hmm. 125 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,793 Well, okay, then. 126 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,004 - [LAUGHTER] - Right? Right? 127 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,892 And let me tell you, your next guest needs no introduction. 128 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,388 I'm Joe Donner. And you're a bunch of fucking idiots! 129 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,139 [CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 130 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,393 [BURPS, BLOWS] 131 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,785 Hi, everybody. 132 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,498 Hi. 133 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,791 So, the Second Amendment, which people use to justify 134 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:06,503 having their, uh, uh, having no regulations on guns, um, 135 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:10,970 actually begins with the words, "A well regulated." 136 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,675 11.1 perc... percent of the whole thing. 137 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,354 I wish you could all see your own faces right now. 138 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,899 You have the exact expression that my dog has 139 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,397 - when she's taking a shit. - [LAUGHTER] 140 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,823 Like, "Don't look at me." 141 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,613 "Why are you here watching this?" 142 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,992 "There has to be a better way to do this." 143 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,290 Okay. Okay, you want to talk about this? 144 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,916 Okay, I... I love my dog. 145 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,920 The other day, she peed on my pizza. 146 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,964 But that's my fault. 147 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,593 I shouldn't have yelled at her while she was standing on my pizza. 148 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,729 [APPLAUSE] 149 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,646 But I... She's cool. 150 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,689 Um, her name is Cat. 151 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,735 Which I know sounds like a stupid name for a dog, 152 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:15,325 but that's only because it is a stupid name for a dog. 153 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:22,579 It's even stupider when you realize it's actually short for Cat-erpillar. 154 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,629 [APPLAUSE, WHOOPING] 155 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,071 [KEYS JINGLING] 156 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,583 [WHISPERING] Cat. 157 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,749 Cat. Come here, baby. 158 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:11,836 [CLICKS TONGUE] Cat. Cat. 159 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,920 Cat? 160 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:30,397 Hey, Rena? I really killed tonight. 161 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:35,239 - It's my best set ever. - Mm. That's great. 162 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:39,155 They were laughing at stuff I was saying, at the punch lines. 163 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,700 And at the end, they cheered so hard, I was like, 164 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:45,287 "What's that?" and I was like, "Oh, that's for me." 165 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,372 I've never felt anything like it. 166 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,541 - Hey, where's Cat? - Huh? 167 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:57,003 No, you just sleep. I'm gonna go walk the dog, but I can't find her. 168 00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,222 Oh, I thought you said "dog." 169 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,634 Yeah. Cat. Where's Cat? 170 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,308 Oh, my God, you didn't leave the door open, did you? 171 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,352 Or the window? 172 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:12,352 I don't know what this game is, Samir, but I'm trying to sleep. 173 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:15,025 Our dog, Rena. Where's our dog? 174 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:19,446 - What? - We don't have a dog or a cat, Samir. 175 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,157 You're so annoying. 176 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,718 NARRATOR: Samir Wassan is an artist of great principle. 177 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,426 A man who refuses to compromise his beliefs 178 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,641 for a cheap joke. 179 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:48,680 But tonight, he felt the rush of the limelight for the first time. 180 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,565 Now, he'll have to decide 181 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:55,437 what really matters to him when the laughter stops. 182 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:59,942 And how much he's willing to give... to The Twilight Zone. 183 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,995 You're traveling through another dimension, 184 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:08,491 a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. 185 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,664 It is the middle ground between light and shadow, 186 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,504 between science and superstition. 187 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,124 And it lies between the pit of one's fears 188 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,752 and the summit of one's knowledge. 189 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,972 You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination. 190 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:26,763 You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone. 191 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,976 BOY: What happened to that bus stop? 192 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,354 SAMIR: There's a very bad man who's another comic here, 193 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,614 he got drunk and drove into it. People died. 194 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,483 Anyway, could you give me a hand here? 195 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,070 Is this a part of your act? 196 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,159 No. I had to google Jack Russell Terriers 197 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,533 because I couldn't find any pictures of Cat on my phone, 198 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,536 which is so strange, 'cause I take pictures of her all the time. 199 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,663 I don't get it. Who's Cat? 200 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:59,291 Oh, okay. Rena put you up to this. 201 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,168 - Okay. Okay. - What? 202 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,588 What? No. I like seeing you do stand-up. 203 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,056 You know what? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 204 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,766 You and Rena do your hilarious prank. 205 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,511 It's very funny. Very funny. 206 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,058 Come on. 207 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,934 Come on. 208 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,191 - [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] - [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 209 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,483 Hey, uh, is JC Wheeler here today? 210 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,321 Yeah, right. 211 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,985 BOY: That sign's so funny. 212 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,699 "No apostrophes." 213 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,866 Yeah, you might be the target audience. 214 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,280 I don't get it. 215 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,948 'Cause the club's called Eddies, 216 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,246 but you'd think that it would be Eddie's. 217 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:37,042 But then this sign's saying that, no, it is actually Eddie's, 218 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:40,507 it's just that we don't allow apostrophes, so now it's Eddies. 219 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,711 - That is funny. - Yeah, it's really clever. 220 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,671 DIDI: Hey, girls. 221 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,639 What is this? Community service? 222 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,100 Oh, this is Deven, my nephew. He's, uh, staying with me. 223 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,594 Actually, I'm Rena's nephew. 224 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,345 Oh, shit! 225 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,892 He said check your lane. 226 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:58,025 - He did not say "check your lane." - He said check your bitch-ass lane. 227 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,018 Don't say the... any of the bad words. 228 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,771 He's staying with us. He's in from out of town. 229 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,190 Hey, handsome. 230 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:08,194 So, you seen Uncle Samir do his "comedy" before, 231 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:11,618 or is this the first time you've had the "privilege"? 232 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,705 I've seen him do it a couple of times, but you know, you're actually kind of 233 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,669 what made me want to be a stand-up comic. 234 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,914 - Just like you. - Oh, that's so nice. 235 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,085 Thank you for telling me. 236 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,631 Well, I mean, not just like you. I kind of want to be, like... 237 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,630 you know, a good comedian? 238 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:31,133 - Oh, shit! - Language. 239 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,886 - Nephew's funny, dude. - SAMIR: All right. 240 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,730 Okay, um, I got to use the restroom before I get up on stage. 241 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:39,566 Why don't you just take a shit on stage like you did last time? 242 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:45,691 And three of the 27 words are, "A well regulated." 243 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,450 [PHONES CHIMING] 244 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,294 Geez. You know what? 245 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,046 Maybe I'll pull out my phone, too. 246 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,377 Maybe we can text, you know? 247 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,000 What's everyone's phone number? 248 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,423 You guys are just like my nephew. 249 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,093 I can only get through to him if I text him. 250 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,599 [LAUGHTER] 251 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:18,973 Yeah. 252 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,143 - Hey, asshole. - [LAUGHTER] 253 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,315 Get off your phone, I'm talking about you. 254 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,860 [LAUGHTER] 255 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:30,321 He's ten years old, he's ten, 256 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,537 and he was making fun of my act earlier tonight. 257 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,114 He was! 258 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,032 He was saying I'm not funny. 259 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,083 He's ten. 260 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,290 Actually, he's not even my nephew. 261 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,334 I don't know if that makes it better or worse. 262 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,048 No, it actually makes it worse 263 00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,338 'cause if he was my nephew, at least the family 264 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,844 would be coming out on top, 265 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,839 - but this way... - [LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE] 266 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,226 This way, just some random ten-year-old is dunking on me. 267 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,346 [LAUGHTER] 268 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,899 - [CHEERING] - Deven Singh, everyone. 269 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,019 Give it up for Deven Singh. 270 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,405 MAN: Congrats, man. That was awesome. 271 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,579 Damn. You brought it. 272 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,085 That was actually a good set. 273 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,375 Thanks to Deven. Have you seen him, by the way? 274 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,169 I hope I didn't embarrass him too much. 275 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,383 Okay, who are we talking about right now? 276 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:31,671 My nephew, my girlfriend's nephew. Wants to be a comedian, 277 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,638 but better than me. 278 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,661 I don't know what the hell you're talking about, 279 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:39,770 but I think I just hit my Samir limit. 280 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,061 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 281 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,901 Hey, did you guys see a little boy come out here? 282 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,444 Did you guys see a little boy, like, a ten-year-old boy 283 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,431 - come out here at all? - Haven't seen him. Sorry. 284 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,307 Hey, did you guys see a little boy come out here? 285 00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,165 - Like, a leather jacket, he's Indian? - Sorry, dude. 286 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,034 SAMIR: Deven? 287 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,581 Deven! 288 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,260 Call Deven Singh. 289 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,175 PHONE ASSISTANT: Did you mean Anisha Singh? 290 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,214 Call Deven Singh. 291 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,807 Okay. 292 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,973 No, no, no. Call Deven. 293 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,518 I don't see "Deven" in your contacts. 294 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,232 Should I look for locations by that name? 295 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,176 Hey, have you heard from... 296 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,686 You see, the laws... 297 00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,930 Samir. It's lovely to see you. 298 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,853 Hey, baby. How was your show? 299 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,986 I didn't know you were gonna have company tonight. 300 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,604 We were just talking about comedy. 301 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:16,324 I was making the case that it is art, just as much as theater, 302 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,952 or literature, or paintings. 303 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,446 Hold on one second, David. 304 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,823 You know, I have a lot of respect for what you do. 305 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,992 Thank you. 306 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,710 Um, can I talk to you real quick? It's about Deven. 307 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,042 - Who? - Deven. Can we talk over here, please? 308 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,710 Who's Deven again? 309 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,129 - Is that Fran's boyfriend? - Deven. Your sister's son. 310 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:38,047 I don't like that joke. You know Anisha can't have kids. 311 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,219 But that's just it, see? 312 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,219 Comedy has to go to these dark places because 313 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,596 - it's art. - That is bullshit. 314 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,311 - He's in this picture right here. - DAVID: What I'm saying is, 315 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,685 if he doesn't push the boundaries, he's as derelict... [VOICE FADES] 316 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:55,485 ...if I were to let an innocent man go to prison. It really is no different. 317 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,576 SAMIR: Don't you remember? He was in this picture. 318 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,596 He was wearing that leather jacket and I made fun of him. 319 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,738 I called him The Fonz, and he was like, 320 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,830 "Who's that? You're so old." 321 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:11,715 Baby... 322 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,592 [PANTING] 323 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,054 He's just gone. 324 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,098 Anisha never even had him. 325 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,094 Oh, my God, now you're worrying about my sister? 326 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,555 You're right. 327 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,603 [STAMMERING] You're right, 328 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,102 I shouldn't be worrying about her 'cause... 329 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,025 There never was a Deven, so it's not like he's dead. 330 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:39,025 He just never existed, so it's not like I killed him. 331 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,243 Okay, now you're scaring me. 332 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,530 Are you all right, Samir? What happened tonight? 333 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,123 - Are you feeling okay? - It was JC Wheeler. 334 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,457 - JC Wheeler told me... - Whoa, whoa, you met JC Wheeler? 335 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,921 - Yeah, he was at the club last night. - That is so cool. 336 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,632 JC Wheeler told me I need to put myself out there, 337 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,215 that I need to be more personal on stage, and then people would connect to it, 338 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,090 and then people would relate to me, and then... 339 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,216 [GASPS] 340 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,261 It'd be gone forever. 341 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,354 Please don't put me in the mental hospital. 342 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,359 Why the mental hospital? You got one picked out? 343 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,566 [CHUCKLES] 344 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,869 There he is. There's my guy. 345 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,905 It's okay, Samir. 346 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,829 Look, I think what you're describing might be a good thing. 347 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,703 The feeling that if you put something out there 348 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,921 from your real life, you'll get laughs. 349 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,915 That sounds like therapy to me. 350 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,964 You work through these things so that you could free yourself from them. 351 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,338 It's terrifying to put yourself out there, 352 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,214 but it's true what they say, 353 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,093 "Sunlight really is the best disinfectant." 354 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,970 Okay, okay, David, I'm... I'm sorry. Would you mind? 355 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,814 - Oh, say no more. [CLICKS TONGUE] - [RENA LAUGHS] 356 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,479 [SIGHS] 357 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,905 You have been at this for five years, five. 358 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:07,071 And I've been very supportive, but if you've finally found the thing 359 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,947 that can help you find your audience, 360 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,450 how are you not gonna throw yourself at that? 361 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,043 Well, what about the part where things get... 362 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,922 ...erased? 363 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,290 DAVID: She's right, you know. 364 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,237 Art is the noblest pursuit in the world, but... 365 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,752 it's not paying the rent. 366 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,220 [WHISPERING] I'm sorry. 367 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,401 MAN: But what I really like, what I really like 368 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,776 is when people spell curse words using asterisks. 369 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,265 You've seen this? You know what I'm talking about? It's like... 370 00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,532 I guess asterisks are kind of like the chastity belt 371 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,375 of the vowel world, in the vowel community... 372 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,495 I was looking for you. 373 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,172 Heard you were great the last couple nights. 374 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,633 Congrats, kid, you're headlining. 375 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,294 Oh. Thank you. 376 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,672 [LAUGHS] Hey. 377 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,390 Don't fuck it up. Huh? 378 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:13,600 Who am I kidding? Come on, it's you, of course you're gonna fuck it up. 379 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,731 Hey, I'm just messing with you. 380 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,894 ANNOUNCER:...very funny guy, Samir Wassan! 381 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,066 [CHEERING] 382 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,861 MAN: All right! 383 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,329 SAMIR: Thank you. 384 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,791 So a lot of people use the Second Amendment 385 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,374 as an excuse to say that guns shouldn't be regulated, 386 00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:39,838 except that the Second Amendment 387 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:44,130 actually starts with the words, "A well regulated." 388 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,891 I have a ten-year-old nephew, 389 00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,432 and the other day he was making fun of my act. 390 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:55,804 He's ten years old. 391 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,973 He's ten. 392 00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:03,649 Right. I don't have a nephew anymore. 393 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,611 How about this president, huh? 394 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:10,903 I don't want to say he's a fascist dickhead 395 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:14,622 who should be hung by his nuts in the public square, 396 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,458 but only because I don't want to talk to the Secret Service. 397 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,338 WOMAN: Oh, man. 398 00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:40,312 Hey, uh, give it up for the guy who was on stage right before me. 399 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:45,983 - MAN: Yeah! - He's funny, right? He really crushed. 400 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,990 - Didn't he? - [WHOOPING] 401 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:51,986 Not as badly as he crushed a mom and her baby 402 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,783 at the bus stop across the street. 403 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:54,950 WOMAN: Ooh! 404 00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:57,449 I'm not joking! He did that. 405 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:02,045 That mangled bus stop across the street... 406 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:06,083 ...that's his best work! That's his biggest credit! 407 00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,880 It was in the news. He got away with it, though. 408 00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:13,473 And you saw his act, you wouldn't think a guy 409 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,684 with a hateful, misogynistic act like that 410 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,347 would also be a drunk driver. 411 00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:20,222 No, actually, that stands. That makes sense. 412 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:26,441 Give it up for human piece of shit, Joe Donner. 413 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,564 [CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 414 00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:44,538 'Cause he didn't smash into it, 415 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,256 because he doesn't exist. 416 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:50,464 Hey, hey, you're the... Hey, you totally killed tonight. 417 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,634 Oh, thank you. You know, I actually un-killed two people. 418 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,302 This is you, right? 419 00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:57,809 - Yup. - I am following you right now. 420 00:23:57,937 --> 00:23:59,644 Oh, thank you so much. 421 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,684 - Don't drink and drive, okay? - All right. 422 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:04,353 Just like Joe Donner didn't anymore. 423 00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:06,397 - Okay. - You're so funny. 424 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,778 - He is. - I also saved two lives. 425 00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:11,444 One was a baby! 426 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:24,377 [WRITING] 427 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:49,644 I knew this kid in high school, he was a prick! 428 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,692 Just a bad guy. 429 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,157 He was mean, he was a bully. 430 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,741 But you know what? It's not fair to judge someone 431 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:02,286 by how they were in high school, right? People change. 432 00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:04,667 They grow, they learn. 433 00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,420 So I looked him up online. 434 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,961 Now he works for Doctors Without Borders. 435 00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:13,756 Now, you horrible pieces of shit. 436 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:18,348 I'm joking. Jamie Benson murdered his fiancée. 437 00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:22,473 He did! 438 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,723 Yes! I love being right! 439 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:30,944 Great! Not so great for his fiancée... rest in peace. 440 00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:32,653 She's gone now. 441 00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,440 More like Murderers With Borders, am I right? 442 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:36,942 [LAUGHTER] 443 00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:39,490 Sometimes the covers do tell you a fair amount 444 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,487 about the book, don't they? 445 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:43,159 [APPLAUSE] 446 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,504 - Cheap and brown, no ice. - You know it, Al. 447 00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,601 Or what about Coach Keller? 448 00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:05,311 Oh, yeah. That was crazy. 449 00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:08,147 I guess we just didn't know how crazy it was at the time. 450 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,358 Uh, I knew. 451 00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:13,278 Man, there really are a lot of loathsome psychopaths 452 00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:14,654 in the world, huh? 453 00:26:14,782 --> 00:26:16,739 Thank God you're not a loathsome psychopath. 454 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:20,994 That's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. 455 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:24,493 - Uh-oh! - Oh! 456 00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:27,163 - Ah! - Why are you screaming? 457 00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:29,001 I thought it might get on my coat. 458 00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:31,542 - What about my face? - This is my favorite coat, 459 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:34,006 and it is so much more expensive than your face, baby. 460 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,875 I'm sorry. 461 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,427 - What are you doing? - Pizza face! 462 00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:40,547 Ah! [LAUGHS] 463 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:45,761 [PHONE CHIMES] 464 00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:12,629 SAMIR: So you know how, in school, rumors would get started, 465 00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:15,290 and it didn't even matter if they were true or not, 466 00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:17,007 it would just become legend? 467 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,502 You know what I'm talking about? 468 00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:21,004 Well, unless The Times 469 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:24,850 and a jury of his peers were being huge gossips... 470 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:27,890 - [LAUGHTER] - ...that rumor about... 471 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:31,098 - ...Coach Keller... - [LAUGHTER] 472 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:34,525 ...being a pervert who preyed on kids? 473 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,986 That rumor was true. 474 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:38,776 That one did happen. 475 00:27:44,705 --> 00:27:46,412 You know, I've been feeling like my comedy 476 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:49,954 could really make a difference, like, the more I open up on stage, 477 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,748 the... the more I change the world. 478 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,089 Is that completely narcissistic and delusional? 479 00:27:56,216 --> 00:28:00,335 Uh, yes, but I don't mind it. I like this new you. 480 00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:03,175 So do I. 481 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:14,478 Hey, um, do you remember that guy we ran into 482 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:17,444 who you defended, and then later you found out he totally 483 00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:20,234 - did do all those horrible things? - I can't believe I said that. 484 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:22,319 No, no, no, it's good that you told me. 485 00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:24,192 What did you say the guy's name was again? 486 00:28:24,328 --> 00:28:27,036 - I can't tell you that. - Yes, you can. 487 00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:28,700 David says a good defense attorney 488 00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:31,113 - never lets her opinions seep into... - Oh, great, David. 489 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:33,250 Really? 490 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,995 I'm so sorry I mentioned my friend's name in passing. 491 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:38,276 No, no, no, keep going. There's gonna be a great story. 492 00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:40,542 I've been starved for some of that David Kandel wisdom. 493 00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:43,962 And I've been starved for some of that Samir Wassan jealous prick routine. 494 00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:46,931 Jealous prick? Okay. Routine? Wow. 495 00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:48,800 Why, what would you call it? 496 00:28:48,936 --> 00:28:50,928 What would I call a law professor 497 00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:53,847 who's always having romantic dinners with his former student, 498 00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:56,190 - my girlfriend? - They are not romantic. 499 00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,856 David is my friend, and my mentor... 500 00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:01,980 Oh, mentor. Okay. Yeah, why was I worried? 501 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:05,529 There's no way a mentor would try and fuck an attractive student. 502 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:07,405 Screw you, Samir. 503 00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:10,242 "Screw you." That's really good. Are you taking argument classes? 504 00:29:10,374 --> 00:29:12,115 'Cause that's still some beginner shit. 505 00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:14,124 Maybe move up to "Go fuck yourself." 506 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,168 Rena? 507 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,498 Great. 508 00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:37,099 So I met a murderer today. 509 00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:38,234 I did. 510 00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:40,519 I actually met a murderer. 511 00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:44,443 I was talking to this tattooed guy on the bus, 512 00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:48,989 and he just straight-up told me that he murdered someone. 513 00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:52,075 You know, I guess it makes sense, 'cause if I was a murderer, 514 00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:54,665 I would want to tell people, too, you know? 515 00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:56,622 Pride in what you do is important. 516 00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:02,332 Although, it seems like resisting the urge to tell people 517 00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:05,881 might be an important life skill for a murderer. 518 00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:07,587 [MAN COUGHING] 519 00:30:09,975 --> 00:30:12,012 Buck. His name was Buck. 520 00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:14,469 Buck. 521 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,683 From Pennsylvania? 522 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:19,649 Unless he gave me a fake name. 523 00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:22,731 - I, uh... - [PHONE CHIMES] 524 00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,616 I've got something you guys might like. 525 00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:40,419 Do you guys have a girlfriend who's got, like, 526 00:30:40,547 --> 00:30:43,130 a creepy older "mentor"? 527 00:30:54,561 --> 00:30:56,894 You know, who's, like, just her friend, 528 00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:59,772 and not trying to sleep with her at all. 529 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:04,395 Just some older, white, pretentious motherfucker. 530 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:08,193 With his fucking little beard, and he knows everything. 531 00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:10,908 This guy knows everything. 532 00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:12,993 And then you get in trouble. 533 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:17,206 You get called a jealous boyfriend 534 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:20,164 for trying to save her from getting MeToo'd 535 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:22,287 by fucking David Kandel? 536 00:31:31,473 --> 00:31:32,473 Wow. 537 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:35,679 "Top Comedians to Follow," huh? 538 00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:38,929 Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. 539 00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:42,099 Must be so exciting for you to know someone on that list. 540 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,874 You've been strutting around here like the cock of the walk lately. 541 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:47,899 [CHUCKLES] Great metaphor. Hey, I'm a little busy right now. 542 00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,156 Could you text my assistant, 'cause I want to talk. 543 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:52,400 Don't make me hurt you, Samir. 544 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:55,236 Hey, baby. 545 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:56,655 Hey. 546 00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:58,782 Hilarious as always, Samir. 547 00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:04,621 Hey, what would your, uh, mentor David have thought of that set? 548 00:32:04,798 --> 00:32:06,755 What are you talking about? 549 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:11,252 - Wait, where are you going? - I have to get to my shift. 550 00:32:11,847 --> 00:32:13,679 What shift? 551 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,435 - Rena, what's wrong? - I'm late. You gonna get me fired? 552 00:32:19,563 --> 00:32:22,306 Okay. Why would they have you come in now? 553 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:25,684 And they're not gonna fire their best lawyer for being slightly late. 554 00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,562 Lawyer? Are you kidding me? 555 00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:31,064 Wait, wait, wait, you're... you're not a lawyer? 556 00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:32,732 Screw you. 557 00:32:36,413 --> 00:32:38,200 David Kandel. 558 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:40,914 She doesn't have a career without fucking David Kandel. 559 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,212 Rena, I screwed something up. 560 00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:56,867 You have screwed many things up, Samir, but I am late right now. 561 00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:59,809 - I'm sorry. - No, no, listen. I changed something. 562 00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:02,724 - Okay? You were supposed to... - Supposed to what? 563 00:33:02,856 --> 00:33:05,519 Keep waiting patiently for you to get your career together? 564 00:33:05,692 --> 00:33:06,692 No. 565 00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:09,359 Wait, where's your red coat? The one we got in Paris? 566 00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:12,818 - What are you talking about? - Paris. When we went to Paris. The... 567 00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:17,865 We never went to Paris 'cause we couldn't afford it. 568 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,658 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 569 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:21,371 - Hey, hey, hey. - I swear to God, 570 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,162 if you touch me one more time... 571 00:33:23,293 --> 00:33:25,034 - You okay, honey? - I'm fine. 572 00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:26,502 She's fine. It's okay, it's okay. 573 00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:29,213 Okay, hey, hey, that was the trip that saved our relationship. 574 00:33:29,382 --> 00:33:31,248 - But we didn't go on it... - Saved our...? 575 00:33:31,384 --> 00:33:33,362 Listen, we couldn't go because you couldn't afford it, 576 00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:35,573 - but now I can afford it, so... - You're a dick, Samir. 577 00:33:35,597 --> 00:33:37,867 - Okay, you don't understand... - No, you don't understand. 578 00:33:37,891 --> 00:33:40,634 You don't think about how your actions affect me or anybody else. 579 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:42,517 We're all just background to you. 580 00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:45,059 - Material. - MAN: Table 12. 581 00:33:50,237 --> 00:33:54,197 Hey. I'm sorry. Hey. Remember when you gave me that advice, 582 00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:56,135 when you told me that I could be strong on stage? 583 00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:57,821 That I could play to my strengths? 584 00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:00,320 You said that I need to let go of stuff? 585 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:03,869 So I did that. I did that for us. I did that, I did that for you. 586 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,079 You said it was okay to punch. 587 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:08,077 When am I gonna be the joke? 588 00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:10,751 This argument, when's that gonna show up in your act? 589 00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:14,084 - We're done, Samir. - No, no, no. No, no, no. 590 00:34:14,261 --> 00:34:16,298 Listen to me. Listen to me. 591 00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:20,882 I have this power, okay? I have this superpower. 592 00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,929 I do. The reason you're doing this right now... 593 00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:24,783 The reason I'm doing this right now, Samir, 594 00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:28,139 is that you are a selfish asshole. 595 00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:28,495 [YELLS] 596 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:51,480 [APPLAUSE] 597 00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,391 Thank you. 598 00:35:54,027 --> 00:35:58,317 What do you think it's like to have a penis? Obviously... 599 00:36:02,035 --> 00:36:04,243 That cute little Indian girl dumped you, huh? 600 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:07,572 Shit, man, that sucks. I'm sorry. 601 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:10,245 For you, I'm sorry for you. 'Cause that was just 602 00:36:10,377 --> 00:36:13,245 clearly the right decision for her, you know? 603 00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:16,422 She's all I know, I... 604 00:36:16,716 --> 00:36:18,708 I don't know what I am without her. 605 00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,011 My... 606 00:36:22,138 --> 00:36:24,300 career's finally taking off. 607 00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,674 Can't win at everything, right? 608 00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:28,551 People think I'm funny. 609 00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:32,684 You know how hard it's been for me, people not thinking I was funny? 610 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:35,474 Yeah. Yeah. Yes. 611 00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:36,851 I hear you. 612 00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:39,694 Maybe this is how it goes. 613 00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:43,779 You get something, you got to give something up. 614 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:52,662 Samir, 615 00:36:54,587 --> 00:36:56,624 if you go on a murder rampage, 616 00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:58,793 can you try not to do it while I'm here, please? 617 00:36:58,925 --> 00:37:02,168 And just to be clear, I say that not because 618 00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:04,920 you're brown, I say it because 619 00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:07,556 "you're a man," sort of. 620 00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:11,177 - There's my two little stars. - There's our weird, creepy uncle. 621 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:13,895 - [CHUCKLES] - Weird, creepy laugh. 622 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:17,433 So, Candy Gower from The Gower Hour 623 00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:19,231 is coming to the late set tonight. 624 00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:20,898 - Okay. - And she is here for you two. 625 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:22,612 Two? 626 00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:24,152 MAN: You didn't hear this from me, 627 00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,964 but The Gower Hour needs a new cast member, 628 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:28,569 and it's pretty much narrowed down to two up-and-coming comics 629 00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:30,913 you may have heard of named you and you. 630 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,781 Doesn't know our names. 631 00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:35,159 ANNOUNCER: Please welcome Samir Wassan. 632 00:37:35,295 --> 00:37:39,335 - He's Samir Wassan. - Ah. He just said it. So... 633 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,722 The Second Amendment says... 634 00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:59,897 uh, "A well regulated..." 635 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:08,988 My football coach was a rapist. 636 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,537 WOMAN: What did he just say? 637 00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:17,788 Right. 638 00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:19,958 You need fresh blood. 639 00:38:20,089 --> 00:38:21,876 What we need is jokes. 640 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,546 Who said that? Who fucking said that? 641 00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:27,837 It was me. 642 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:29,554 So you think you're funny? 643 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,768 No, we just think you're not. 644 00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:35,887 [LAUGHTER] 645 00:38:37,273 --> 00:38:38,855 Ooh... 646 00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:41,270 [APPLAUSE, WHOOPING] 647 00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:45,229 Okay. Okay. 648 00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:47,781 What's your name? 649 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,535 What's everybody's name? 650 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:57,582 - Gabe. - Will. 651 00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:01,458 Uh-huh. And where do you guys work? 652 00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:04,002 Uh, we work at Wellspring Capital. 653 00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:06,170 So you're, what, like, hedge fund guys? 654 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:10,546 Yeah, actually, we invest in hedge funds. 655 00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:14,926 - Wow. [CHUCKLES] - GABE: Yeah. Wow is right, bro. 656 00:39:15,061 --> 00:39:16,893 We're talking about... 657 00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:21,023 count 'em... mm... nine figures. 658 00:39:21,150 --> 00:39:22,891 Nine figures! 659 00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:25,527 I got to give it to you, that actually is impressive. 660 00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:29,399 You know, I love guys like this. 661 00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:41,206 They get off work after a long day 662 00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:45,001 of investing in hedge funds... did I get that right? 663 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:48,046 Want to make sure I get the details right here. 664 00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:51,257 These guys are like, "Oh, we're gonna go to a comedy club, 665 00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:53,802 we're gonna heckle the comedian. 666 00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:58,010 And tell everyone how much money we make." 667 00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:03,686 Gabe and Will, ladies and gentlemen. 668 00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:06,526 Gabe and Will. 669 00:40:06,654 --> 00:40:07,895 [CHEERING] 670 00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:32,678 [SIGHS] It's you and me, huh? 671 00:40:32,805 --> 00:40:35,047 - Not now. - Oh, yeah. Now. 672 00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:39,309 It's one spot. 673 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,058 One spot... 674 00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:44,978 on The Gower Hour! 675 00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:48,565 [BEATBOXING, LAUGHS] 676 00:40:49,948 --> 00:40:53,191 That shit should have gone straight to me. 677 00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:57,035 I have been the MVP up in here for a minute. 678 00:40:57,163 --> 00:41:01,874 But somehow, suddenly, you get funny. 679 00:41:02,377 --> 00:41:06,121 How does that happen, huh? How the hell you pull that off? 680 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,879 Didi, we really don't have to do this 681 00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:09,123 - right now. - What? 682 00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:11,337 - I'm not gonna go on stage tonight. - What? 683 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,280 - What are you talking about? - I don't want it. 684 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:15,240 - You can have it. I don't want it. - No. No, that is some... 685 00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:17,347 - I'm not... - No, fuck you. No. 686 00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:21,219 No, I am not about to let you do that shit. 687 00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:24,013 - Why not? - 'Cause you're good. 688 00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:25,980 You've been fucking killing it. 689 00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:28,601 And I'm honestly kind of embarrassed 690 00:41:28,736 --> 00:41:31,149 that I didn't see how funny you were from the start. 691 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,522 But you can't stop now. 692 00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:37,777 So, I came in here to tell you that if... that if Candy Gower chooses you, 693 00:41:37,912 --> 00:41:41,246 well, then I would be happy. 'Cause it would be a good choice. 694 00:41:41,374 --> 00:41:44,412 WOMAN: [OVER PA] Didi to the stage. Didi to the stage. 695 00:41:44,544 --> 00:41:49,960 So no more of this bullshit about "Oh, I'm not gonna go up," 696 00:41:50,133 --> 00:41:54,218 and "Oh, my goodness, I have a vagina and it's hurting and I'm on my period 697 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,086 and I can't find tampons" 698 00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:58,339 or whatever the fuck you're talking about. 699 00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:03,052 Okay? I'll see you... on stage. 700 00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:05,850 And may the baddest bitch win. 701 00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:08,019 Which is me, by the way. 702 00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:11,439 Didi, you're on deck. 703 00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:14,029 Didi? You're on deck. 704 00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:18,942 I swear to God... 705 00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:22,571 if I were straight, I would... 706 00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:27,159 ...probably be with a Idris Elba-type dude. 707 00:42:27,295 --> 00:42:29,708 But I would throw you some pussy every now and again 708 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:32,498 out of respect for your comedy. 709 00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:34,374 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 710 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:36,926 Kill it tonight, boo. 711 00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,046 Whoo! 712 00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:41,673 [LAUGHS] 713 00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:45,518 [BANGS ON DOOR] Let's get it! 714 00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:59,571 DEVEN: The club's called Eddies and you'd think that it would be Eddie's 715 00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:02,157 but then that sign says that it's Eddies. 716 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,154 But then this sign's saying that, 717 00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:06,031 no, it is actually Eddie's, 718 00:43:06,209 --> 00:43:08,542 it's just that we don't allow apostrophes, 719 00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,410 so now it's Eddies. 720 00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:22,426 Oh. 721 00:43:26,312 --> 00:43:29,726 There you are. Didi's up next, then you. You ready? 722 00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:32,357 What the hell are you doing on the floor? 723 00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:36,104 - Is Candy Gower here? - You bet your dick she is. 724 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,897 This is it, kid. This is it. 725 00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,322 JC: This is it, kid. 726 00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:45,537 This is it. 727 00:43:45,665 --> 00:43:49,409 - What did you do to me? - Do to you? 728 00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:51,831 I just told you how to get what you wanted. 729 00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:55,372 I wanted to make people laugh, I did not want to make them disappear. 730 00:43:55,508 --> 00:43:57,340 I wanted to be the next Chris Rock, 731 00:43:57,468 --> 00:44:00,882 not... evil... David Copperfield. 732 00:44:01,013 --> 00:44:03,551 I warned you what would happen if you put stuff out there. 733 00:44:03,683 --> 00:44:06,391 You did not tell me I was gonna be murdering people. 734 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:12,598 Murdering people? Now who the hell is murdering people? 735 00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:15,601 You can't murder people who never existed. 736 00:44:15,736 --> 00:44:19,104 - That's semantics. - There are no crying moms. 737 00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:22,241 It's not murder if there are no crying moms. 738 00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:24,655 See, that's the criteria for murder. 739 00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:27,279 Willful, premeditated, 740 00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:28,997 crying moms. 741 00:44:31,043 --> 00:44:32,409 - But... - But what? 742 00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,161 These people were never born. 743 00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:39,254 Now, you might think you remember them, but you're incorrect. They're gone. 744 00:44:39,385 --> 00:44:40,466 They're gone. 745 00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:41,836 They are gone. 746 00:44:44,557 --> 00:44:46,219 But where do they go? 747 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:49,218 Samir Wassan, you're up next in five. 748 00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:51,436 You still have a chance. 749 00:44:51,564 --> 00:44:54,682 To get the success you said you wanted more than anything. 750 00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:56,441 Why stop now? 751 00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:58,518 You're so close. 752 00:44:58,821 --> 00:45:00,437 Finish it. 753 00:45:00,573 --> 00:45:02,314 Use what you got. 754 00:45:02,450 --> 00:45:04,032 Weaponize that shit. 755 00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:07,157 Bring down the motherfucking house. 756 00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:15,794 Oh, shit. Okay, so... 757 00:45:15,922 --> 00:45:17,959 So many people talk about how hard it is... 758 00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:20,082 [CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 759 00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:31,676 DIDI: So... 760 00:45:31,812 --> 00:45:34,350 [INDISTINCT] 761 00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:37,225 Um... [CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 762 00:45:38,611 --> 00:45:41,775 She's so fine that when I first met her, I was straight. 763 00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,314 But you know what? 764 00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:46,192 It's not so bad... [CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 765 00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:48,819 [MUFFLED LAUGHTER] 766 00:45:48,955 --> 00:45:51,538 And that is a pussy-eating joke. 767 00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:55,410 You guys have been amazing. I'm Didi Scott. Thank you so much. 768 00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:58,082 - [CHEERING, APPLAUSE] - Oh, oh! 769 00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:13,810 That was amazing. 770 00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,554 That was hilarious. 771 00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:19,395 Keep it going for the incredible Di... 772 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:23,854 [CHEERING CONTINUES] 773 00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:25,697 [MOUTHING] 774 00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:30,068 Please keep it going... 775 00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:33,450 Please keep it going... 776 00:46:36,252 --> 00:46:40,747 Please keep it going for the incredible Didi Scott, everyone. 777 00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:53,509 Karen Conroy, she broke my heart. 778 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:55,681 Lizzy Appleman, what a bitch! 779 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:56,894 Mary Beth Bryce! 780 00:46:57,023 --> 00:46:58,343 She didn't even know I was alive! 781 00:46:58,482 --> 00:47:01,896 Bye-bye! Mrs. Kern from Westlake High. 782 00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:03,769 B-plus. You're gone! 783 00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:05,645 Sarah Vollman. 784 00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:09,024 Oh, my parents' friends' kid, Neel. 785 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,867 I don't like how he looks at me. 786 00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:13,112 Parson twins! Fuck them both! 787 00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:14,909 Um, Yuri Bhattacharya. 788 00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:16,327 Yuri Bhattacharya's mom. 789 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,243 Let's go for it! Yuri Bhattacharya's fucking dog! 790 00:47:19,378 --> 00:47:20,914 Ah, Serena Tam! 791 00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:23,881 She wouldn't share her lunch... Fuck you, bitch! 792 00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:26,588 Uh, um, Billy Chung! 793 00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:27,755 From college. 794 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,128 Fuck Billy Chung! 795 00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,255 Goodbye! Uh... 796 00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:34,053 You know what? Dr. Baldwin, my dentist? 797 00:47:34,226 --> 00:47:36,218 Fuck him! Fuck root canals! 798 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,095 [LAUGHTER] 799 00:47:38,731 --> 00:47:41,474 Thank you! I like that. 800 00:47:41,609 --> 00:47:44,602 Uh... Skip Torrance, Jana Torrance! 801 00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:46,145 All the Torrances! 802 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,863 WOMAN: Boo! 803 00:47:48,991 --> 00:47:50,107 "Boo"? 804 00:47:50,242 --> 00:47:52,859 WOMAN: Boo! 805 00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:55,370 Really? Read the fucking room. 806 00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:58,907 What are you doing here? 807 00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:00,830 You shouldn't be here. 808 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,566 You have something to say to me in the middle of my act? 809 00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:05,797 Your "act"? 810 00:48:05,925 --> 00:48:07,962 I hear this kid kills hecklers. 811 00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,585 This is gonna be good. 812 00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:12,504 This is your act. 813 00:48:13,432 --> 00:48:14,798 I found it. 814 00:48:14,934 --> 00:48:17,677 It's just names, Samir. 815 00:48:17,853 --> 00:48:20,140 I don't even know who these people are. 816 00:48:20,272 --> 00:48:22,980 People who wronged you, people you don't like. 817 00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:26,602 Your act is just you being superior to other people. 818 00:48:26,779 --> 00:48:28,065 Taking them down. 819 00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:31,110 Go ahead. Use me. Use me for fuel. 820 00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:33,650 Burn me up so you can get where you always wanted to go. 821 00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:34,786 Do it. 822 00:48:34,954 --> 00:48:36,536 What's stopping you? 823 00:48:51,470 --> 00:48:54,213 Okay. You want to hear the whole story? 824 00:48:56,058 --> 00:49:00,769 You're right, I have been selfish. You said it and I heard it. 825 00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:03,604 I don't know if anybody else could've gotten me to hear that, 826 00:49:03,732 --> 00:49:06,315 but you sure know how to get me to hear things. 827 00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:08,485 But I don't want to talk to you about that tonight, 828 00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,361 ladies and gentlemen. 829 00:49:10,489 --> 00:49:16,076 Tonight, I want to talk to you about someone I've known a very long time. 830 00:49:16,245 --> 00:49:18,988 Clever, loveable in a lot of ways, 831 00:49:19,165 --> 00:49:20,997 someone you'd think would be a good person 832 00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:23,367 with a lot to offer the world. 833 00:49:24,462 --> 00:49:26,044 Ladies and gentlemen, 834 00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:30,633 tonight I want to talk to you about... 835 00:49:33,387 --> 00:49:35,049 ...myself. 836 00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:37,764 [LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE] 837 00:49:42,855 --> 00:49:44,391 I'm a comedian. 838 00:49:44,523 --> 00:49:46,435 Which is a job like any other. 839 00:49:46,609 --> 00:49:50,478 Except instead of climbing into the gears of an enormous machine 840 00:49:50,613 --> 00:49:53,447 to chase a hat, like I assume all of you do, 841 00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:57,488 I come up here and I try and make people laugh. 842 00:49:57,661 --> 00:50:00,699 Why? Because I want to spread joy? 843 00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:02,914 Because I want the world to be a better place? 844 00:50:03,042 --> 00:50:08,379 Nope! It's because I'm a garbage can who needs lots of money and validation 845 00:50:08,506 --> 00:50:10,247 emptied right into me! 846 00:50:10,382 --> 00:50:14,171 I want people to come up to me on the street and ask for selfies! 847 00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:16,302 I don't even care if they know who I am. 848 00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:19,343 I just want them to think I'm somebody! 849 00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:23,181 And I want to have it so much that I want to be sick of it. 850 00:50:23,312 --> 00:50:25,474 I want them to come up to me and I want to be like, 851 00:50:25,606 --> 00:50:29,850 "Don't you know I'm just a garbage can who wants to live my own life?" 852 00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:31,935 Why do I want that? 853 00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:36,690 I don't know. 854 00:50:38,494 --> 00:50:40,406 But it doesn't matter. 855 00:50:40,538 --> 00:50:42,495 I am a bully. 856 00:50:43,082 --> 00:50:45,950 People are just material to me. 857 00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:48,452 I throw them away. 858 00:50:49,129 --> 00:50:53,794 I'm a country with one export and there's really only one thing 859 00:50:53,926 --> 00:50:56,339 left for me to give! 860 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,383 Ladies and gentlemen, 861 00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:05,932 I've been Samir Wassan! 862 00:51:29,962 --> 00:51:31,828 - Hey. - Hey, dude. 863 00:51:31,964 --> 00:51:34,172 - You have fun? - Yeah, it was actually 864 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:36,257 - really funny. - Glad you liked it. 865 00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:39,799 Oh, look. Didi Scott's right there. 866 00:51:39,972 --> 00:51:41,929 - You want to say hi? - No, I'm fine. 867 00:51:42,057 --> 00:51:44,515 You sure? Well, I'm gonna. 868 00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:47,765 Hey. You were hilarious. 869 00:51:47,896 --> 00:51:50,604 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 870 00:51:53,402 --> 00:51:56,065 Thank you. [CLICKS TONGUE] 871 00:51:59,908 --> 00:52:01,649 Something to take the pain away. 872 00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,777 Coming right up, Deeds. 873 00:52:06,457 --> 00:52:08,574 Well, holy shit. 874 00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:10,541 JC Wheeler. 875 00:52:11,420 --> 00:52:14,413 - In the fleshy flesh. - [CHUCKLES] 876 00:52:14,548 --> 00:52:16,540 I saw your set. 877 00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:22,129 Wow. If... If you had any notes... 878 00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:26,891 NARRATOR: Samir Wassan learned the hard way 879 00:52:27,019 --> 00:52:29,477 that sometimes, getting everything you want 880 00:52:29,647 --> 00:52:31,980 means losing everything you love. 881 00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:35,183 And after finally finding himself on the verge 882 00:52:35,319 --> 00:52:37,060 of becoming somebody, 883 00:52:37,196 --> 00:52:39,483 he chose instead to once again 884 00:52:39,615 --> 00:52:41,527 be a nobody. 885 00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,867 In the end, Samir's final encore 886 00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:46,862 is a show you can only buy a ticket to... 887 00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:49,455 ...in The Twilight Zone.